he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
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