If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
