perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.�
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
