I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
