you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
