OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
