____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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