What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
