Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
