I skipped work to stalk him.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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