I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
