This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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