You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
You brought string cheese to the strip club
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
