So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
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