Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I currently don't understand fingers.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
