just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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