That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
