Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
