Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
