And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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