watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
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