She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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