thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
