Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I look excited, but its just a facade.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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