he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
