I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Randomize
