There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
