so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
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