Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
