I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Are my feet made of real feet?
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
