strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
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