He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
