he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
