mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I think my moral compass just broke
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
