You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
