D3 body, D1 cock
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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