God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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