i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Just high enough for therapy.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
