you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
