Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
