the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
It's rum buckets o'clock
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
