Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(253): View more from Washington

i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money

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(609): View more from New Jersey

is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.

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(540): View more from Virginia

Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS

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(651): View more from Minnesota

Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent

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(727): View more from Florida

I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"

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(218): View more from Minnesota

I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...

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(318): View more from Louisiana

He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.

(337): View more from Louisiana

I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.

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