maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
