I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
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