fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
My ass is underappreciated
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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