Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
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