The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
