Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
