Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Randomize
