I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
