no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
